On Irony & Pain

Pain
by jmanapat

How deep must understanding be?
How long must patience be?
How can a source of joy and encouragement,
Be the same source of pain?

Should I be doing this?
Or have I gone mad?
Because it turns out,
It is my friend
Who’s making me sad.

 

I’ve stared at death in the face six years ago and I thought that was painful. But this one, a thousand times more.

“If friendship is your weakest point, then you are the strongest person in this world.” ~Abraham Lincoln

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Carry On!

Carry On!
by Robert Service

 

It’s easy to fight when everything’s right,
And you’re mad with the thrill and the glory;
It’s easy to cheer when victory’s near,
And wallow in fields that are gory.
It’s a different song when everything’s wrong,
When you’re feeling infernally mortal;
When it’s ten against one, and hope there is none,
Buck up, little soldier, and chortle:

 

Carry on! Carry on!
There isn’t much punch in your blow.
You’re glaring and staring and hitting out blind;
You’re muddy and bloody, but never you mind.
Carry on! Carry on!
You haven’t the ghost of a show.
It’s looking like death, but while you’ve a breath,
Carry on, my son! Carry on!

 

And so in the strife of the battle of life
It’s easy to slave, and starve and be brave,
When the dawn of success is beginning.
But the man who can meet despair and defeat
With a cheer, there’s the man of God’s choosing;
The man who can fight to Heaven’s own height
Is the man who can fight when he’s losing.

 

Carry on! Carry on!
Things never were looming so black.
But show that you haven’t a cowardly streak,
And though you’re unlucky you never are weak.
Carry on! Carry on!
Brace up for another attack.
It’s looking like hell, but — you never can tell:
Carry on, old man! Carry on!

 

There are some who drift out in the deserts of doubt,
And some who in brutishness wallow;
There are others, I know, who in piety go
Because of a Heaven to follow.
But to labor with zest, and to give of your best,
For the sweetness and joy of the giving;
To help folks along with a hand and a song;
Why, there’s the real sunshine of living.

 

Carry on! Carry on!
Fight the good fight and true;
Believe in your mission, greet life with a cheer;
There’s big work to do, and that’s why you are here.
Carry on! Carry on!
Let the world be the better for you;
And at last when you die, let this be your cry:
Carry on, my soul! Carry on!

 

Silence

Silence.
by jmanapat

 

Silence.
I hear it in writing.
Letters appearing quietly,
To form words,
To form thoughts,
To make sense of things
The mind is desperately trying to organize.

 

Silence.
I feel it when my heart is at peace.
When it is confident,
That the Universe will always provide
Enough reason for the heart to continue beating,
To continue loving.

 

Silence.
It’s when I sleep at night,
That moment when the music just ended,
And am about to close my eyes.
Sometimes tired,
Sometimes hopeful,
Sometimes too excited to rest,
But always,
Always,
Grateful for everything.
The laughter,
Tears,
Mistakes,
Everything.

 

Silence.
That moment when I wake up in the morning,
Opening my eyes,
To let the first rays of light,
Illuminate the magic of a new day.
Another day of making choices;
Of deciding whether or not to be happy,
And grateful.

 

He said it was difficult to be happy.
I don’t want to believe that.
Because,
What if,
It is only ourselves who makes happiness difficult to achieve?
What if happiness is not difficult to achieve?
Maybe we just have to open our entire being to it;
We need to believe we deserve it.
We need to believe,
Everyone deserves it.
Because we all do.

 

In each moment of silence,
Choose wisely.

Enso

enso
Ensō- a sacred symbol in Zen Buddhism; may translate as “Mutual Circle” or “Circle of Togetherness,” among other translations.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ensō
by jmanapat

The sun would rise and see me smiling,
Thankful for another day beginning.
It shines on my heart
Where one would find,
The dreams and fears
I have kept all night.

This hopeful heart still longs for you;
My dearest friend,
Do you feel it too?
Sometimes I forget not to hope so much;
But how can I not?
My heart you have touched.

The sun would set and in my heart one would find,
Fear creeping in,
For she is always on your side.
I can choose to be jealous,
Be miserable and cry;
Or be thankful for our friendship,
Lit by stars in the sky.

Sleep would come and I would dream once more,
I am up on the mountains with the same man as before.
In this place there is no fear,
Only joy and freedom,
So pure and so clear.

The moon would set,
The sun will rise;
My heart will hope for you again,
Even before I open my eyes.

Image source: puncturedartefact.wordpress.com

Confusing Contentment

Waiting

“Confusing Contentment”
Acrylic on canvas
November 2015
jmanapat

Confusing.
How two emotions tug at each other.
On one end you are happy.
No matter how many times you try to be prideful,
You cannot hide the joy when you are together.
You cannot hide it because it is so real,
There is no other option but to express it.

On the other end there is fear.
That reality:
You will always be second next to another.
You will never be like the first.
But why do you want to be like the first?
So it doesn’t feel that you are begging for attention.
So you don’t feel grateful only for the times when you are together,
So you don’t feel left alone when the first one comes along.

But what if “first” and “second” are just that?
Numbers.
What if they don’t really mean anything?
What if only people give meaning to such words?
What if you are the only one who gives meaning to such words?
What if to him you are not second?
And she is not first?
You are not first.
She is not second.
What if you are simply both his friends?
Family?

Confusing.
How two emotions tug at each other.
On one end you are happy.
On the other end there is fear.
It’s a reality you have to be content with.

 

Happiness and fear make life interesting. Just to clarify, the writer is not a concubine (hindi ako kabit! my gaahhd.)! LOL. It was only after I finished writing the poem that I realized more than half of it might sound like it is pertaining to marriage when in fact it pertains to friendship. :)

I have been so good with making friends even with people who are the subject of my jealousy towards a man I like. And the funny thing is, I’m not pretending to be friends with these people, I really end up being quite close to them. Ang saklap! Or not. XD It really is confusing, but what the heck. My entire being is just simply more happy making friends than enemies. So the hell with these rankings in my mind. I choose to be happy. Yay. :)