So the body gave up. I was down with flu since yesterday morning. The weeklong sleep deprivation took its toll. And it’s weird, even though I tried to be efficient, there’s still that feeling that I can do more if only I manage my time better. But sometimes, things just don’t go as expected. Meetings run longer than planned, writing took longer than usual, memories from last year would resurface leaving me paralyzed for a time.
On the brighter side, I can say that my “academic endurance” did improve. I was able to pull-off my lecture class despite preparing just hours before (not something I should be proud of, but if it was the Jill back in 2015, I would’ve canceled my class already if I wasn’t prepared the night before).
Planning and visualization. These two probably took much of my time. I plan for current projects. I visualize future projects. I scavenge the Internet for sources of funding, for organizations that share the same vision, for people I can meet with to get inspiration and ideas from. Then I imagine the possibilities. What happens if this project becomes a success? A failure? But mostly I dwell on the former (being the stubborn optimist that I am).
Then I was appointed as the new program coordinator for Materials Engineering. Ideas start brewing in my head again. I finish the Individual Development Plan (IDP) document. I tell myself that if I could help someone last year who just ended up treating me like trash after supposedly showing him that he could dream big and actually achieve it, then I will do everything I can to help my fellow faculty grow in their career as well. This amazing group of people who, despite our individual differences, I have regarded as my family since 2013.
Routine. Something I used to detest, but slowly learning to appreciate. I had to develop a routine when I went back to work last January: this time is allotted for traveling to and from work, lecture prep, writing, eating, taking a bath, etc. But one thing I have yet to incorporate is exercise. Obviously, my being sick now is a mayday call to quickly put exercise into my routine.
Alright. I guess I have to end here now. I haven’t checked my email yet since yesterday. I missed a deadline last Friday so I’m expecting a not-so-good email in my inbox when I open it later. But what the heck, all I can do is my best. I’m sure I did what I can, given my circumstances. Brush it off, stand up, smile, and move forward. :)